"I don’t feel that it is necessary to know exactly what I am. The main interest in life and work is to become someone else that you were not in the beginning." 

-Michel Foucault

It's the little things

I have this Lilly Pulitzer photo album, and it holds 100 photos, and so right after I graduated college I began the daunting task of searching for my top 100 photos from college, which was WAY harder than it sounds.  I document everything.  I basically have at least 400 photos for each year I was in school, minimum.

Some of the photos that made the cut and blurry and awful, but when I see them I am reminded of just how wonderful my friends are.

My 19th birthday

Take the above photo, this was my birthday a month into my freshman year.  Prior to 2010, my birthday had always been a big celebration with friends and the start of school, and we would hang out and celebrate for close to 24 hours, complete with water balloons, cake fights, and chalk graffiti.  So I was pretty bummed for my birthday because it was the first time I would be celebrating without most of my friends in 8 years.  Four of my friends took the time to show me that small gestures can mean just as much.  These two drove me all around town getting my favorite things from my favorite restaurants.  Mac and cheese and sweet tea from McAlisters, chicken nuggets from Chick-Fil-A, miso soup from Chopsticks, and a Cranberry Limeade from Sonic for good measure.  They did this without having to ask what I wanted.  They knew because I'm a creature of habit (still am- that will never change) and once I find something I like I stick with it.  After the perfect dinner, one of my other friends had planned this wonderful scavenger hunt around town.  Clues at each place, and what was really great is that he hadn't even experienced all of these places with me.  He had just heard me talk about them and knew the places in town that mattered to me.  That's what friends do.  They listen to your crazy stories, notice what you order, and know that not having all of your friends around for your birthday will make you sad, even if you don't say it out loud.  

So, here's to all of the friends who make life memorable and enjoyable. I really am blessed to have so many people who I care for, and who know me better than I know myself.

Moving Mountains With Teaspoons

I get that I've only been out of Texas for a month now, and basically a week of that was travel and training, and I've only been at my job for three weeks, blah blah blah....
But can it really be this easy to fall into such a great routine? A routine where I get the alone time that I crave, and still begin the process of making friends, while getting back into healthy eating habits and loving my job and the area?

I'm sorry.  That sounds really stupid, and I might hate everything that I'm doing in six months, but I really doubt it.  This feels perfect.

I look forward to my job every morning. I wake up earlier than I need to, so I can be ready and alert when I get to the office because I just love it there.  I haven't willingly woken up earlier than I needed to since 4th grade, if that puts it in perspective for you. My supervisor is possibly one of the coolest people I've met in the last three years.  I love what I get to do at my job.  I manage our seasonal troops.  They typically meet during lunch periods or in after-school programs.  I get to do lesson planning and watch what works, while simultaneously looking for volunteers to take over these troops so they can function when I leave.  Eventually I'll get to try my hand at grant writing, sending out newsletters and press releases, and form new partnerships with other community partners.  Seriously, this job is giving me all of the professional skills that I need to make sure that nonprofit work is what I want to do.

I attended a nonprofit panel that's focus was Intergenerational Leadership and how to prepare the upcoming generation (mine) for roles in nonprofits.  I wasn't even surprised to be the youngest person in the room by probably 10 years.  This kind of stuff matters.  They were discussing how to communicate with our generation, and I was learning a lot about the impression we give off, and some of the broader generalizations that we've been given.  What was interesting is that, despite the internet saying everyone hates us, most of the people in that room were welcoming us with open arms.  They understand that we think and communicate in new ways that they've never considered, and that we might have fresh perspectives on what they've been doing.

My favorite college professor gave me one of the best lessons I've ever had.  I was in her office and we were talking about a variety of things, and she handed me a teaspoon.  She explained that sometimes the work we do is like moving "mountains with teaspoons" and you can't always see the immediate long term effects or any effect at all, but that doesn't mean you're not doing something worthwhile.  We were talking about behavior analysis and autism therapy, but I think that lesson has carried over into pretty much any aspect of my life since I learned it three years ago.  So now that I'm living by the mountains, and doing work that can be very mountainous, I just have to remind myself that slowly but surely, I'm chipping away.  That makes every single email, lesson plan, and craft project more than worth it.  Also, the teaspoon she gave me sits proudly on my desk.

So here's to mountains, nonprofits, hot coffee and tea, majestic puddles with mountain reflections in them, and one month gone from Texas.  What a glorious and growth filled month its been.  I can't wait to see what the next eleven months hold in store.

My how time flies

Well, I'm back in Montana.  This time for the forseeable future.  Isn't that weird? I still think it's a little weird, but I'm happy.  Really happy.  I didn't realize the funk I'd let myself slip into over the last few months after I got back from my summer in Billings. I mean I obviously was happy to see all of my friends and family and eat at my favorite places again and see the things that are familiar and just feel like home, but I felt like something was missing.  I realized what was missing when I was driving up, and just beginning to see the mountains again felt like a a puzzle piece slipped back into place.  The view.  The sense of something so much larger than yourself that it towers over you and forces you to think of your mortality

So I've been back in Montana for two weeks, and now I'm living in Flathead Valley.  Every day when I drive to work I have to focus on making sure I don't get distracted by the amazing view to my left or right.  Every day I feel like I lose my breath when I walk out of my apartment and see this intense fog rolling down the side of the mountain.  Maybe this will become a normal view, and I won't appreciate the way the mountains get sandwiched between the low hanging clouds and the even lower fog.  Soon I might not enjoy all of the rain and snow, but for now it's here and I'm loving it.  I hope I don't ever grow used to the view.  I don't want to take it for granted.  I want to stare it down and remind myself that I am here, in this moment, and to take it for what it is, icy roads and all.

30 Things You Should Do (At Least) Once A Year

Taken from Thought Catalog, written by Ella Ceron

1. Clean your closet, and get rid of anything you haven’t worn, anything that doesn’t fit you, anything that is too worn or ripped to repair, or anything you haven’t worn in at least a year (save for your one “interview” suit or dress, etc). Other than that, start fresh.

2. Visit your hometown, even if everybody else has moved away. Visit the last town you lived in if it’s close enough or you’re going to be passing by anyway. Remember why you don’t live there anymore. Feel grateful for what you have in comparison to what you had.

3. Go somewhere you’ve never been before, whether that’s a foreign country or a part of your own country you’ve always wanted to see but never did. It can be an hour away or a three-day road trip away. Regardless, plan to just see something you’ve never seen before — just once.

4. Get a massage. It’s good for your body, helps you realign muscles and joints that might have shifted, and puts you back in tune with how your body is supposed to feel.

5. Drink cheap wine to keep you humble and hungry. Remind yourself why you ought to work hard for the good stuff but if you do this with friends on a roof somewhere, it’s a good memory on its own. (Just drink a lot of water so your hangover doesn’t hurt too badly tomorrow. But really, only do this one once. Life is too short for bad booze.)

6. Volunteer somewhere. Do this one especially more than once a year. It’s good for your soul, your mind, your heart, and your community.

7. Make a new friend — a real friend, not just an acquaintance you friended on Facebook after a party and never spoke to again — or five.

8. Challenge yourself physically in some slightly crazy, I-can’t-believe-I-did-that kind of way, whether that’s a marathon, a class at the gym you’ve always been too intimidated to try, finally lose those last 10 pounds, or even a baby if this is that year and that’s what you’re ready for. (That last one is the hardest and biggest challenge of them all.)

9. Actually make (and go to) all the doctor, dentist, and whatever other appointments that are so easy to blow off.

10. Rewatch your favorite movie, or reread your favorite book — and see if there’s now something else that jumps out at you with either age, experience, or simply new eyes.

11. Go somewhere really nice to eat. Like, more forks than you think you’ll use nice. Dress up for it. It doesn’t have to be a date. Go with your best friend and make a night of it.

12. Call in sick to work. Play hooky because you can, for your mental health. (Only do this once, though. Your boss might grow suspicious otherwise.)

13. Have champagne and cake for dinner for no other reason than this: Because. You. Can.

14. Try something you’ve sworn all your life that you absolutely hate — but maybe just never really gave a chance.

15. Ask for a raise, or ask what you can do to improve if you don’t yet deserve one. Work towards that.

16. Make a conscious effort to thank all the people you might be taking for granted in your day-to-day life (like your building’s super, the man who runs the laundromat, your barista, even the kid who checks you in at the gym every morning).

17. Go up to your roof if you can, and get a new perspective on the world, and on your place in it.

18. Spend a whole day walking everywhere to run your errands. No cars, no bikes, no public transportation, just walking. See what you notice when the world isn’t whizzing by you at dozens of miles an hour.

19. Go without (or with less of) a favorite vice — whether that’s smoking, drinking, sugar, or even something as seemingly innocuous as that morning coffee — for a week. See how you feel.

20. Get fitted by a professional tailor so you know what size you are (and if you’re a woman, get your bra fitted, too).

21. Learn how to cook a new meal. Invite people over to share it with you.

22. Leave your phone at home for an afternoon. See what happens when you unplug.

23. Spend time in nature, whether that’s on a day hike on a nearby trail, or a few days camping with your family and friends.

24. Go to a museum, see a band or a sports game live, or watch a play or a musical. Experience culture without the help of an illuminated screen.

25. Spend a Friday night in. Order takeout, dance around to guilty pleasure music in your underwear, take a really long bath, whatever speaks to you in that moment.

26. Stare your naked body in a mirror. Make peace — and offer love — to every little inch of you that stares back.

27. Buy flowers for someone you love and appreciate. (That someone can even be yourself.)

28. Reach out to someone whose career you admire. Build a connection. See what you might be able to learn from them — and even how you might be able to help them, too.

29. Try to make amends with someone with whom you might have drifted or had a falling out. If you can’t fix the relationship, at least let that wound heal as healthfully as possible.

30. Ask yourself if you’re happy. And if you’re not, ask yourself what might help you work towards getting there. And then make it happen. Because, yes, you deserve to be happy.

Be Intentional With Your Transition

6 Questions To Ask When Your Life's About To Change

Article found here

In Miami, fall and winter are foreign concepts.

It’s pretty much summer all year round, with the occasional day or two when the temperatures dip below 70 degrees. (Only in Miami will you see people sporting fur boots and coats when that day’s high temperature is a “frigid” 68 degrees. Seriously.)

A trip to Nashville several years ago gave me my first taste of fall. The oranges and yellows and reds that enveloped the countryside as my flight descended into the city made me feel like Kevin McAllister entering Duncan’s Toy Store for the first time in Home Alone 2.

The transition from summer to fall is clear: The days grow shorter, the temperatures begin to cool, and pumpkin spice lattes are available at every Starbucks (hallelujah!).

In life, we go through similar transitions. New opportunities. New locations. New friends. New everything.

Whether we’re entering the spring of a new job or relationship or the winter of loss or disappointment, we need to be prepared and ready take on whatever comes our way.

Here are some questions to ask as you transition into a new season:

1. Where Am I?

Before you can move forward, you have to know where you stand. Being able to humbly and honestly evaluate where you are is the first step toward a season of growth. Maybe ask a trusted friend or family member to help you process.

Being able to humbly and honestly evaluate where you are is the first step toward a season of growth.

Ask yourself: Where am I emotionally? Where am I physically? Financially? Relationally? Spiritually?

2. What Do I Need to Leave Behind?

Let’s face it: Things change. And as changes swirl around us, we need to be willing to make changes ourselves. We might need to let go of some old things to make room for the new.

New seasons rarely come without the need to make some sacrifices and difficult decisions. Maybe it’s cutting down on binge-watching The Walking Dead with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream cradled in your arm. Or it could be a toxic relationship that needs to be axed.

Whatever it is, do it. Now. Nothing will change if you’re not willing to make changes yourself.

3. Who Do I Want to Be and How am I Going to Get There?

Some seasons can last a few months and others can last years, but they all have one thing in common: They end. Who do you see yourself becoming at the end of your new season?

Sitting around doing nothing while things change around you won’t make things better—it’ll just leave you falling further behind.

Bridging the gap between where you are the beginning of a season and where you want to be at the end of it requires a plan of action. Make a game plan and then go out and execute.

4. Where is There Room For Growth?

There is always room for growth. God wants to shape us, mold us and prepare us for what He has lined up for us. You are where you are for a reason. Ask Him to show you what areas you need help in and commit to grow in those areas.

Don’t waste the season of change you’re in. Find ways to learn, serve and grow.

5. Who Do I Want By My Side?

Take an inventory of the people around you. Who are the friends and family members sticking with you as you enter your new season? Who is drifting away? Who is investing in you and who are you investing in?

Look for people who will build you up, encourage you and challenge you—people that aren’t just for you, but with you.

Look for people who will build you up, encourage you and challenge you—people that aren’t just for you, but with you. The difference? The “for-you’s” will cheer you on from the sidelines, but the “with-you’s” will put on a jersey and help you get the ball down the court.

6. What Are My Motivations?

Your deep-seated motivations are the fuel that will keep you running as you endure the hardships of the season you’re in—and make no mistake, you will face them.

Your “why” will keep you committed when you don’t feel like getting up half an hour earlier in the morning. It will help you to say “no” when you really, really want to text your ex, even though you know you shouldn’t.

Your “why” is what will keep your eyes forward when you’re tempted to look to the left or to the right. It will keep your legs moving when you feel like giving up completely.

Transitions are not easy, but they can be times of immense growth and learning to trust God. Be intentional with your transition.

Montana

Well my time in Montana is rapidly coming to a close.  I've really loved it here, even more than I thought I would.  Billings may not have been the most bumpin' city of all time, but I could dig it.  What I really fell in love with though was having the mountains visible from the balcony.  Seeing the Rockies on a daily basis, even from far away, was something that I won't soon forget.  It was crazy because I was here long enough to start to take it for granted, and then as soon as I realized that I would shake it off and try and really process what I was doing out here.  I love my job.  Did I learn a lot working full time in an office? Yeah, but I've worked in an office before.  What I appreciated was learning to work with different types of people.  At UNT I was surrounded by very similar people, but here in Montana I met lots of different personalities and various work ethics.  I'm thankful for this summer and the new friends I've made, but I've also learned that home is still a damn good place to be and if I don't immediately rush off to the ends of the world then I will still be okay. They say home is where the heart is, and I'm willing to leave bits and pieces of my heart where ever I go.  So here's to you Montana and your little piece of me.