“…the only certain thing at all is the worn path.  The habit of love cuts through confusion and stumbles or contrives its way out of difficulty, it remembers the way even when it forgets, for a dumfounded moment, its reason for being.  The path is the thing that matters.” 

Words to live by

This is the beginning of a new day. You have been given this day to use as you will. You can waste it or use it for good. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever. In its place is something that you have left behind. Let it be something good
-A quote from the care package my mommy sent me for finals

In a few short hours..

So, in a few short hours we are going to know the results.

I don't know how to feel about all of this.

Part of me wants to win, the other wants to lose.

I'm kind of terrified at what I've signed myself up for. I think that we are definitely more qualified and have better plans, but I don't know if I can handle it. I hate it when people don't like me, and I feel like that always happens with the president. I don't like the thought of my time no longer being mine (not that it really is right now anyway) and I am petrified of screwing up. But I think the difference is that I realize just how badly things could go, and my friend doesn't. From the vibe I'm getting he is taking it very lightly-almost like a joke- and that thought scares me more. People tell me we're a "shoo-in" and that makes me want to throw up. We didn't have the time to go out and bother people to vote, and almost anyone who heard both platforms realizes that we should win. But what if we don't. What happens then? I quit SGA? I leave the organization that I've loved and cared for for the last two years. Leave a place where I feel I can make progress for other students, leave a place where I've found some of my closest friends? It seems foreign, but it also seems like the only thing to do. I can't work under them. I can't watch my ideas fall to the way side when I know they are good ones. I just don't know. We will know the results in 15 hours. 15 hours left until my questions are answered and new ones arise. What next? That's all I want to know. What next?

Also, I've taken to writing in an actual journal, because I fear that it's becoming a lost art, but I've missed my blog.

Sometimes I feel so incredibly blessed that I feel I could float away.
Sometimes I get so damn unhappy that it knocks me flat on the floor.

So if you keep busy enough you don't have the chance to fall or float, merely work.  

That's the way I like it.

Sorta sad...

I realized today that I am going to have to quit working with Drew.
& it isn't because the job is too hard, because it isn't
& it isn't because the drive is too long, because it's manageable, although it's tedious
but I will have to quit working with him because I am simply too busy.

He is such a sweet boy, and working with him this week has been filled with trials, tribulations, and all kinds of rewards.

But the fact remains that I am simply too busy.
I want to go to UNT Football games on Saturdays
I want to be able to do day trips to Dallas
I want to go to Narnia in the fall
I want to be able to go visit friends across the state on the weekends and not have to plan so far in advance.
I want to have the freedom to drive to the beach because I need to get away
& regardless of the fact that I still want to work with Drew, the pros outweigh the cons.

I think I may quit Yummy's too. Just focus on school, possibly going greek (!), OTP office job, SGA (Senate and Freshman Intern Mentor) and on my latest idea to make UNT a more well knit community.

Bring this year on.

They danced down the streets like dingledodies, and I shambled after as I've been doing all my life after people who interest me, because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes 'Aww!' "

It's weird to see a friendship reduced to "stuff"

When you thought we were done being friends you gave me back my stuff.  Who does that?  Why did it have to be instantaneous and so painful?

In the years of friendship that we've had you felt that by returning a few thing could mark "the end". How odd.

Anyways, stuff is working out now, I suppose.